Turning a new leaf

When tough times hit you, you go pointblank.Gosh, You figure this is not happening to you, you disconnect from realityand you wonder.....you try so hard playing all the events in your head over and over again, just hoping that you would just "WAKE UP"!That if i could go back in time and turn the events back in your favour, The choices you make, shape your life.
Well welcome, to the party! Reality hits.No you are not hallucinating, You are not playing a victim in a shoddy TV serial, and no you are not the president's kin.You are only human, who has been devoid of all real world pain, till now.Time to grow up.Chin up and proceed, (thats what i am preparing myself for) I am preparing myself for life.Alas i have not made it to an Ivy League.Hence i am a loser, hence says my brother.Everyone i know hate their jobs, except my husband who has so much to croon abt his boss!Not everyone can boast on that front!!Not everyone has that symmetrical face, and not everyone owns an Aston martin (Damn you bond!)Someone recently questioned me,"If i had to do something all my life, for the love of it and never get paid a dime for it, What would it be?"Thats indeed a simple question, answers to that can be plenty or none.But its only the right answer to that,can show you your north Star.I have thought so hard till my head hurt.Human mind, an ocean of muddled thoughts.I love art, the depth, the feel, the emotion that reeks out of it.But could i earn a meal a day doing that,i doubt it.Rational self takes control.Focus.This is life you are talking about, not a storyline.I quit writing five years ago, i lost all my data my creations in a second when my dad decided to format my system without even asking me.Lesson learnt.i can never be good at anything.LOSER.But my positive side gleams, If you were any good wouldnt you have tried harder - for the love of it!!Yes, true. Its so easy sometimes to take a backseat and lose all the vigour you had to make someone else's achievements your glory. You live one life, you hear the success stories of all those men and women who have arrived and i have always grown to learn that i too shall emerge. Alas, i have not been able to emerge out of the shadows of my own fear.my own insecurities.Its never too late to learn, i have decided to turn a new leaf.you can either rot, or move ahead.
"Worrying is nothing but a fast getaway on a wooden horse."